Presence and Prayer

5:00:00 AM

I have been thinking a lot about my sweet twins this week, thinking back. They turned 2 a few days ago. But two years ago, I spent many hours in a dim NICU unit looking at babies that I wasn’t allowed to hold.

They had tubes and monitors everywhere, and they were inside incubators, with bilirubin lights on them.I heard of many babies who had major issues that would stick with them for the rest of their lives, and babies who would have very short lives indeed. I prayed that taking these little girls out of me so early wouldn’t cause any of those issues.

I couldn’t figure out if I should rejoice that we made it to this point…that I had carried 2 babies with such danger that they were monitored daily from 26 weeks gestation until they were born at 32 weeks. Or maybe I should quaver in fear for what could be ahead for my little ones.

I decided that I could do two things: I could be present and I could pray.

My girls (all three of them, including my oldest!) needed their mommy. The twins needed to hear my voice, smell me, feel me (when I was allowed). And Lil Bit needed me to pay attention to her when I was with her. So I did just that.

Beyond that, I could only pray that my girls would grow up strong, that the doctors and nurses would have wisdom in treating them, that I would be able to provide food for them (I knew that preemies needed breastmilk even more than a full-term baby).

And what do you know…things got better. They were released from the hospital. And somehow, I breastfed them until they were 14 months old. And now you wouldn’t have known that they weren’t full term unless I told you! We view them as miracles.

Now, in my crazy mind, this is linked to the awful events in Boston and Texas this week. I don’t pretend to know what it feels like to experience something so horrific.  But those two things…being present and praying…maybe they will help. If you don’t have direct connections to the events of this week, please consider this question: “What can my presence and my prayers help right now?”

You never know, you may get to be a part of a miracle.

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  1. Very touching post.

    Your little angels are adorable.

  2. Very touching. Happy Birthday to your beautiful daughters. I remember being in that same position with my son who spent 13 days in the NICU when he was born at 36 weeks. The one thing that helped me when I felt so helpless was praying.